Ashton Kutcher Has Diabolical Plans to Overthrow My Sanity

Sometimes I think I teach in a circus. I have students who do things and say things while sitting across from me that make me think twice about where I am, and who they are. If it weren’t for my fierce grip on reality, I might actually be swayed by these suspicions.

Students: (one of them making strange noises and laughing to himself; the other excited because he understood after I explained how 1/2 times 1/2 is not one whole)
Me (exasperated): Have you ever seen Candid Camera?
Student 1: No.
Me: Totally Hidden Video?
Student 1: No..
MePunk’d?!
Student 2: YEAH!!!
Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m on that show. And that somewhere out there, there’s a lot of people laughing at me.
Student 1 (giggling): are we that bad??
Me: YES!!!

Well, ok, some of their antics are  funny. And I’m glad there’s a place for these students to go where they can get help and yet be themselves at the same time. I like to think they know my boundaries, and if they don’t, they find out real quick how far they can take things (not very far.) I like to see them happy. I especially like genuine reactions, especially those of joy and glee. It’s rare that those emotions come out from these jaunty high school boys (and girls, although they’re easier) and I relish it when I see it.

I’m helping some of these students through Geometry. I love Geometry. I remember loving proofs and doing some of them over and over again using different forms of logic. It opened my brain to making connections and I wish I had a teacher there to let me know what my brain was doing–making inductive and deductive conclusions–and not just doing math. I wish someone told me that this kind of stuff is routinely applied in fields such as computer science, religion, and philosophy.

In any case, as I was trying to calm a student down, I looked him in the eye and said, “You need to stop being an Angle-Angle-Side!”
His eyes grew wide as he figured out what I was trying to say. “You mean, an Angle-Side..”
I interrupted him, smiling, “No, I meant what I said. Don’t put words in my mouth!”
He giggled. “You called me an AAAAAAAAS?” He continued neighing like a horse. He thought it was pretty entertaining.

I toed the border on that one. Take that, viewers! That’s all for today.

Last conversation posted for today, or as Jon Stewart would say, today’s moment of ‘Zen’:

Student: “Ms.–.  I just wanted you to know that I needed to fart and I decided to hold it in instead of doing it in your office.”

Thanks, kids. Thanks. And Ashton, I don’t want to be on your show anymore. And FYI, my sanity is being sloughed off, and not to be overthrown.

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