Election Stress

This is the first time I have ever felt stress over an election.

It could be that as I age, I’m feeling the repercussions of the choices our leaders make more.

It could be that in the past, the line between the Republican candidate and the Democratic candidate wasn’t as clear. That in the end, it would be a people’s president.

It could be that I’m desperate for change.

On both sides of the aisle, I’m sure there is stress over variances in opinion. Both sides believe the other has been deceived. Both sides are appalled at finding out who is on the “other side.” Sometimes it is family. Sometimes it is people in high places of trust. Sometimes it’s just the crazy neighbor you always suspected anyway. Sometimes it’s a friend. People we used to respect.

I can’t focus on work today. Rarely am I so stressed that it impacts my work. Usually, I can compartmentalize enough to get by. But I also don’t want to focus on anything else. I’m determined not to look at the news, not to go on Facebook, not to expose myself to moments where I’m tempted to click on the comments section of any article. I don’t know when to stop, either. Will we know by the end of the day today? Will we have to wait a week? Will we heal? What will happen?

The worst part is, I have a sinking feeling that things won’t get better.

Is that true? I always ask myself this when I’m feeling irrational. But now that I’ve seen the ugly side of things, and that it’s no longer a fringe thing, I just don’t know if it’ll go away. I want to remember this as much as I want to forget it. I want to remember how ugly things got, but I also want to stick my head under a rock and hope this passes.

Will the truth ever come out?

And what is the truth? It’s clear that people are hearing different things from different sources, often wildly different. Who has the truth? Is there even one truth or just different perspectives and pieces of stories that are amplified for different audiences? Since when did we allow this to be a game?

For posterity’s sake, here it is written. Today, the day millions of people will join the millions who already voted. It is honestly bewildering to think that knowing the candidates, that the outcome is tenuous at best.

There is one with a history of conning people who has convinced Americans that he loves America, but the truth is for him, some Americans are better than other Americans. Those other ones are stupid. There is another who is just as old and out of touch but carries himself with dignity and promises to be America’s president, not just his party’s.

I have made my choice. I didn’t get a sticker for it, but I did it.